- The gentlest method that works is the right one: water and a soft natural or plastic brush.
- Bleach, household cleaners, pressure washers and wire brushes can cause damage that cannot be undone.
- Soft stones such as limestone, sandstone and marble need far more care than polished granite.
- Never clean a stone that is leaning, cracked or loose; report it to the cemetery instead.
- Repairs, new inscriptions and changes to the grave need permission from the burial authority or church.
Before you start
Caring for a loved one's grave is a personal act, and it is natural to want the stone to look its best. The most important thing is not to cause harm. Historic England warns that even well meant maintenance can cause irreversible damage, and lists inappropriate cleaning, such as pressure washing, among common problems for memorials.
Look closely at the stone before you touch it. Check it is firmly fixed and does not move when pressed gently. Note any cracks, flaking or loose lettering. If the memorial is old, consider whether it needs cleaning at all. Some weathering and lichen are part of an old stone's character, and the goal is not to make it look new.
What you will need
Avoid anything metal or abrasive. If you want to use a cleaner, choose a product made specifically for memorial stone and follow the instructions. Test any method on a small, hidden area first.
- Plenty of clean water, ideally brought in containers
- Soft natural bristle or plastic brushes, such as a soft nail brush and a larger brush
- Wooden or plastic scrapers for lifting moss gently
- Clean cloths or sponges
- Gloves, and a kneeling mat
- A phone camera for before and after photos
Step by step: cleaning a headstone
Start by clearing leaves, weeds and debris from around the base. Lift loose moss with a wooden or plastic scraper rather than pulling hard. Then soak the stone thoroughly with clean water. Wet stone is less likely to absorb dirt, and water alone softens much of the grime.
Work from the bottom up, so dirty water does not run in streaks down dry stone. Use gentle circular movements with a soft brush, a small area at a time, and keep the stone wet. Take extra care around lettering and any lead or painted inscription. Rinse well with clean water when you finish.
Be patient. Lichen and dark staining often fade gradually over the following weeks and months as the weather does its work. Trying to remove everything in one visit is how stones get damaged.
What not to use on a headstone
Many methods shared online do lasting harm. Church guidance warns that wire brushes, pressure washers and bleach can strip a stone's surface, loosen lead lettering and speed up decay, and the damage may only show months later as flaking, crumbling or staining.
- Bleach and household cleaning sprays, which can leave salts in the stone
- Pressure washers, which can blast away the surface and the lettering
- Wire brushes, scouring pads and abrasive powders
- Acids, vinegar and limescale removers, which attack limestone and marble
- Sealants and polishes, unless a memorial mason recommends them
How different stones need different care
Polished granite is hard and the most forgiving. Water and a soft cloth or brush usually lift dirt easily. Avoid anything that could dull the polish.
Marble looks hard but is sensitive to acids and can become sugary and fragile as it weathers. Use water only, and never scrub a surface that feels gritty. Limestone and sandstone are soft and porous. They can be eroded by scrubbing and stained by chemicals, so the lightest touch is essential. Church guidance singles out soft stones such as Portland stone and other soft limestones as especially vulnerable.
Slate can flake along its layers, so brush with the grain and avoid scraping edges. If you are unsure what a stone is made of, treat it as soft.
Permission, ownership and work beyond cleaning
A headstone usually belongs to the family or the person who holds the right of burial, but the cemetery or churchyard sets the rules for what can be done on the grave. In council cemeteries in England, a memorial can only be placed with the permission of the burial authority, and adding an inscription needs the consent of whoever holds the right to the memorial.
Simple, gentle cleaning is usually fine, but ask first if you are not sure. In Church of England churchyards, cleaning historic monuments can need permission under church rules, called a faculty, and the parish should be your first contact. Repairs, re-fixing a loose stone, repainting or re-cutting lettering, adding ornaments and changing chippings are jobs to discuss with the cemetery office or church and a memorial mason.
Old stones can host rare lichens, and some churchyards are valued for their wildlife. If the grave is very old or of historic interest, take advice before cleaning.
Keeping the grave cared for
A light clean once or twice a year, with water and a soft brush, is usually enough. Between visits, clearing leaves and trimming grass around the base stops moisture and dirt from building up. Ivy and climbing plants should be cut back, as they trap moisture and can cause damage.
Check the cemetery's rules on flowers, containers and ornaments, as many have limits on what can be left and when old flowers are removed.
How AYS can help
If you live far away or visiting has become hard, a local grave cleaner can visit on your behalf. On AYS Concierge you enter the cemetery's postcode, describe the grave and what you would like done, and local pros can send a free quote. Many families ask for before and after photos.
Questions people also ask
Can I use washing up liquid to clean a headstone?
It is best avoided. Household detergents can leave residues and salts in porous stone, which may cause staining or damage over time. Clean water and a soft brush remove most dirt safely. If you feel a cleaner is needed, use one made for memorial stone, test it on a hidden area, and rinse thoroughly afterwards.
How do I remove lichen from a gravestone?
Gently, and not all at once. Soak the stone with water and brush lightly with a soft brush, lifting only what comes away easily. Lichen roots into the surface, so scraping or scrubbing can take the stone with it. Much of it fades over the following months. On old stones, some lichens are rare, so take advice first.
Do I need permission to clean a family grave?
For gentle cleaning with water and a soft brush, permission is not usually needed, but rules vary between cemeteries and churchyards, so it is worth checking with the cemetery office or parish. Anything beyond cleaning, such as repairs, new inscriptions, ornaments or changing chippings, needs permission from the burial authority or church.
What should I do if a headstone is leaning?
Do not try to clean, straighten or move it, as headstones are very heavy and an unstable stone can fall. Take photos and contact the cemetery office or church. The memorial usually needs to be re-fixed by a memorial mason, and the cemetery can explain who is responsible and what the process is.
- Historic England: Caring for historic cemetery and graveyard monuments
- Church of England diocesan news: DIY gravestone cleaning trend risks damage
- legislation.gov.uk: The Local Authorities' Cemeteries Order 1977, article 10
Rules can change. Check the official pages above for the latest position.
